Congratulations, YOU HAVE FOUND A HIDDEN FILE. Go ahead and read if you like, but please keep in mind that I have hidden these for a reason. These are bad or controversial works that I am more ashamed of than my other work ... or in the words of Shakespeare
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended—
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.


Disclaimer 1: Most of this is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Disclaimer 6: If my characters' conversations seem odd or they appear to be talking past each other the latter might occasionally be intentional, but most likely it is an accident and I'm not aware that they are. It's just my bad communication skills.




Safe Distance


Title: Safe Distance
Fandom: Yami No Matsuei
Characters: Touda (Tsuzuki is mentioned)
Prompt: 005. Outsides.
Word Count: 338.
Rating: Maybe PG-13 for mention of suicide.
Summary: Two (not) so very different ways to hide the pain.
Author's Notes: Touda and Tsuzuki seem like opposite personalities at first glance, but are they?


He showed everybody the same hostile exterior. It kept them at a distance and that was how he preferred it. Once you let people close they could hurt you.

Well, to be perfectly honest, they could hurt him anyway, but at least he never let on when they had. If you let people get close to you, they soon learned what would hurt you the most and sooner or later they'd use that knowledge.

He told them that he considered them enemies and they regarded him as their enemy in return. A simple arrangement without complicated emotions getting in the way. Enemies were expected to hurt each other, no unexpected shots out of the blue.

What was even better was that he wasn't expected to care about them either. It was a pure business relationship.

The only one he couldn't declare an enemy was his master, but that didn't mean he had to be friendly to Tsuzuki either. He treated him just as coldly as everybody else most of the time. Still Tsuzuki was a problem. He just wouldn't stop being nice!

Despite all the times Touda had managed to chase him off, Tsuzuki always came back claiming he liked being around him.

Some people said that Tsuzuki was just too superficial and easygoing to really feel hurt by rejection or hold a grudge. Touda knew better.

Tsuzuki might play the easygoing fool, but it was merely a mask to hide his true feelings. Else why would he have died by suicide? If he was so happy and superficial nothing should have been able to hurt him enough to want to die.

But it wasn't Touda's place to explain that to the others. It would have looked too much as if he actually cared. He couldn't help his master with his pain, because to help would have meant to let him close and, if you let someone close you started to care for them and Touda wouldn't, couldn't, didn't care for anybody.

Sometimes he almost believed it himself.






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