Congratulations, YOU HAVE FOUND A HIDDEN FILE. Go ahead and read if you like, but please keep in mind that I have hidden these for a reason. These are bad or controversial works that I am more ashamed of than my other work ... or in the words of Shakespeare
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended—
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.

Disclaimer 1: Most of this is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Disclaimer 6: If my characters' conversations seem odd or they appear to be talking past each other the latter might occasionally be intentional, but most likely it is an accident and I'm not aware that they are. It's just my bad communication skills.

First Girlfriend

Title: First Girlfriend
Fandom: Yami No Matsuei
Characters: Touda, SohRyu (Tenkou and Kijin mentioned)
Prompt: 036. Smell.
Word Count: 745.
Rating: G
Summary: Touda has a slight problem with Kijin.
Author's Notes: Snakes and smell somehow involve hunting in my mind. My first thought was of Touda eating Suzaku whose animal shape seemed best suited for snake food. Here's a more believable story.

"Do you want me to eat you?" Touda hissed at Kijin.

The boy stepped back hastily and Touda returned to whatever he had been doing under those bushes. Probably looking for Tenkou's ball again. It was ridiculous how often that girl lost her favourite toy.

"Touda?" SohRyu reminded himself sternly to be polite. "Could we talk for a moment?"

The serpent looked up at him with a start. He never seemed entirely comfortable in SohRyu's presence no matter how hard the dragon tried to keep his temper in check around him. Skittish serpent, but then again Touda had seen him at his worst, had felt his wrath before. Maybe it was reasonable for him to be afraid.

"Sure," Touda said with a casual shrug. He was trying, too. "What is it?"

"In private."

SohRyu steered them in the direction of the private quarters. Few people outside of the family had reason to go that way. Touda was one of those welcome, though, so the children wouldn't think it strange. The serpent was still hesitant to make use of the privilege when he didn't have to, though. Or maybe he avoided the place t keep away from SohRyu?

"What's that about eating my son?" SohRyu made an effort to make it sound casual, but it came out sounding stern even to himself.

"What?" Was that surprise or worry? "Oh nothing. Just reminding him of an agreement we had."

"I don't want you threatening my children," SohRyu snapped.

"I wasn't. It's just a joke. An exaggeration."

SohRyu regarded the serpent. Touda had always gotten on well with the children and there had never been any hint that they might be afraid of him.

"I can control myself," Touda assured him.

"Control what? You have an impulse to eat my children?" Kijin was a little too big even for a snake of Touda's size to swallow whole and snake instincts wouldn't consider the possibility of cutting up food or taking bites. As a shiki Touda was capable of either, though and Tenkou wasn't anywhere near her brother's size. He'd never before considered the possibility of Touda's instincts interpreting his children as prey, though. Serpents weren't supposed to eat dragons.

"It's the rat-smell," Touda explained. "Drives me crazy when I'm hungry. The worst I'd do, if I left my instincts unchecked would be to sniff Kijin hungrily looking for rats in his pockets. Our agreement was for my comfort, not his safety."

"Sniff him?" That was ridiculous. Snakes didn't even have proper noses.

A long forked tongue flicked at him accompanied by a soft hiss. It almost, but not quite, touched his face. SohRyu took a step back to avoid contact.

"I'm told it tickles," Touda added. "Tenkou likes it, but Kijin finds it rather undignified."

Right. He didn't want to know the details of that conversation. At least the children seemed neither harmed nor traumatised by the experience.

"My children smell like prey to you?" That was the worrying part.

"No, but I can smell Kijin's girlfriend on him for hours after a snog."

"Kijin's girlfriend!" SohRyu laughed. He hadn't even known the boy was dating.

"It's torture when I'm hungry," Touda added with a little theatrical sigh. "My instincts are convinced there must be a nice tasty rat nearby when all there is is a scaly young dragon. I really hope he doesn't marry this one."

"It's a bit early for him to think of marriage," SohRyu grinned. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"I don't really," Touda agreed. "And I could control myself enough not to eat her, if he did. I've been around rat-shiki before and never ate one."

That was when it finally sank in. "Wait a minute! My son is dating a rat? A common weakly little rodent? Couldn't he find anything a little more appropriate?"

He turned back intending to have a long, serious talk with Kijin, but Touda grabbed his arm and held him back.

"Don't," the serpent hissed. "You'll scare him out of dating entirely."

"I'll what?" SohRyu thundered. Touda rarely touched him.

"He's still shy about it," Touda explained with a wince. Maybe that had been a little too loud. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to convince him to actually talk to a girl?"

"But a rat-shiki, Touda? He isn't just anyone. Why couldn't he pick something a little more worthy?"

"You said yourself that he's not old enough to marry, yet," Touda reminded him.

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