Congratulations, YOU HAVE FOUND A HIDDEN FILE. Go ahead and read if you like, but please keep in mind that I have hidden these for a reason. These are bad or controversial works that I am more ashamed of than my other work ... or in the words of Shakespeare
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended—
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.

Disclaimer 1: Most of this is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Disclaimer 6: If my characters' conversations seem odd or they appear to be talking past each other the latter might occasionally be intentional, but most likely it is an accident and I'm not aware that they are. It's just my bad communication skills.

Tenkou's Homework

Title: Tenkou's Homework
Fandom: Yami No Matsuei
Characters: Tenkou (Touda, Rikugou, Kijin, SohRyu, Genbu and the Golden Emperor mentioned)
Prompt: 086. Choices.
Word Count: 908.
Rating: G
Summary: Just what does Tenkou want to change about her life.
Author's Notes: The last ficlet felt somehow incomplete, so I decided to explore Tenkou's thoughts more deeply. It turned out to also be an exploration of who the big influences in her life are and how well she understands the adults around her. (Better than I expected, I found.)

Tenkou sat in front of her exercise book, feet swinging off the too big chair. She still didn't know what to write. The teacher's suggestion of adding a sibling to her family didn't work for her. She already had a perfectly fine brother, even if he didn't always have time to play with her and hadn't been much help with this assignment. She wouldn't want to change Kijin for the world. Then he wouldn't be Kijin anymore and she loved her brother just the way he was.

Taking back an action she regretted wasn't a bad idea either. It would certainly please her teacher, but she just couldn't think of anything she regretted that was big enough. She regretted not leaving a peace of cake for Kijin when he'd been late for lunch last week, but the sort of magic implied in her assignment shouldn't be wasted on something so petty.

Her father's suggestion of wishing the Golden Emperor back scared her. She'd never met the emperor and wasn't quite sure what to think of him. According to her father's tales he was simply the most wonderful and admirable shiki in existence, absolutely perfect, in fact. Both Touda and Rikugou had told her that there was no such thing as perfection, though. On completely separate occasions and in completely different context, even. It was a rare thing that Touda and Rikugou agreed about something this deeply.

Rikugou, she knew was a very wise and learned shiki. He was full of theories as well as knowledge about people.

Touda was much more practical minded and less educated, but at least in Tenkou's opinion he was at least as smart as Rikugou and even more experienced.

Neither of them seemed to share her father's opinion of the Golden Emperor and they weren't the only ones either. When other shiki spoke of the emperor their voices often seemed to carry hints of a different story that Tenkou suspected she was just too young to piece together. She'd asked some of them to tell her about the emperor, but they'd only told her general facts or said that it was too complicated for her to understand.

The most worrying reaction had been Touda's. The hellfire serpent, whom she respected more than almost anybody else, had refused to talk about the Golden Emperor. She could imagine only two possible reasons for that. Either Touda thought it was too scary a story for a little girl or the mighty serpent himself was afraid. She hoped it was the first, because something Touda was afraid of had to be too terrible to contemplate.

No, all in all Tenkou was quite happy with the emperor being away and wouldn't mind at all, if he never came back. That her father didn't have as much time for her as he wanted to was sad, but she could live with it. He was a very good ruler after all and that was what all of GenSouKai needed, herself included. Genbu had taught her that. She had the servants and Kijin and Touda to turn to when Daddy didn't have time for her.

That left Touda's suggestion. He'd obviously lied when he's said that he'd change his hair colour. She'd have known that even if she hadn't seen the look her father had given the serpent. That was okay, though. Touda had every right to keep a private wish to himself and changing something she didn't like about herself sounded like a passable solution anyway.

There was a lot Tenkou didn't like about herself. Changing her looks was rather frivolous, though. It wasn't a real change. What difference would it make in her life, if she had a different hair or eye colour?

What Tenkou really needed was to be older, wiser and stronger. She didn't want to be a helpless little girl that didn't understand things and was talked down to. Maybe she should write about what life would be like, if she were older?

But would that really make her wiser, stronger and more powerful? What if the real reason she didn't understand so many things was that she was too stupid and not too young?

She was very small and thin for her age so most likely she'd grow up to be a small weakly woman and her powers wouldn't be all that great either.

In the long run she'd grow up anyway so the change wouldn't make a lasting difference. Maybe she'd be stronger, if she were male? Or would it be better to be more intelligent? Just go for strength? It didn't matter whether you were male or female, if you were the strongest of them all, but even, if she were physically strong, others would defeat her with their powers.

Could she ask to just not be herself? But then who would she be? Kijin? He was older and stronger, but still just a child. Maybe her father who was in charge of all of GenSouKai? But no, that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to be free, make her own decisions, not to be tied down by responsibilities. She wanted to be like Tsuzuki or Touda, powerful, independent and cool.

And all of a sudden she knew exactly what she wanted and it had nothing at all to do with who she was and what she looked like.

'If I could change anything I like,' she wrote. 'I'd make myself a hellfire shiki.'

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