Congratulations, YOU HAVE FOUND A HIDDEN FILE. Go ahead and read if you like, but please keep in mind that I have hidden these for a reason. These are bad or controversial works that I am more ashamed of than my other work ... or in the words of Shakespeare
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mendedó
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.


Disclaimer 1: Most of this is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Disclaimer 6: If my characters' conversations seem odd or they appear to be talking past each other the latter might occasionally be intentional, but most likely it is an accident and I'm not aware that they are. It's just my bad communication skills.




Visor-Thoughts


Title: Visor-Thoughts
Fandom: Yami No Matsuei
Characters: Touda, Tenkou, a little shiki girl (Tsuzuki, Suzaku, Rikugou and SohRyu mentioned)
Prompt: 094. Independence.
Word Count: 757.
Rating: G
Summary: A talk between children leads Touda to contemplate his situation.
Author's Notes: Once again back on the slave theme. In a way the shikigami are Tsuzukiís slaves, but they seem to be perfectly happy that way. Considering the pride of some of them I find that quite surprising. Tsuzuki must be treating them with a lot of respect for their dignity and feelings. Still, Toudaís situation is a little trickier than the restís and he is perhaps the most fiercely independent of them all deep down.




Touda frowned when he noticed the two little shiki-girls wander off the playground. He didn't really care where Tenkou played, of course, but they were heading his way and he didn't feel like relinquishing his sunning spot.

He liked his solitude and there weren't too many places in GenSouKai that were both secluded and sunny. This was the most comfortable of them all and the last thing he needed was children playing around here.

At first he hoped that they'd turn around, but they kept coming closer.

He uncoiled and changed to his human shape prepared to chase them off.

"Well, of course I could challenge Tsuzuki," he heard Tenkou say. "Nobody's forced to always obey their master. I could fight him and try to break free, but why would I? Having a master is ... is ... like having another parent. Tsuzuki loves me and takes care of me and when he gives me an order I don't like it's always because it's good for me. Just like with Father. Don't you do what your father tells you as well? Even if you don't always like it?"

"But when I disobey my father it doesn't mean that I have to fight him," the other girl pointed out.

"You mean your father doesn't make you obey?" Tenkou asked. "Mine always punishes me, or he just picks me up and puts me where he told me to go ..."

"Well, yes," the little girl sighed. "I suppose so. I still wouldn't want to have a master. I like being independent. I want to be free."

"So you'd rather not have parents?" Tenkou gasped. "I wouldn't know what to do without Father to take care of me."

They were just walking past, Touda realised, and their conversation was even conducted at a normal volume. He decided to avoid a confrontation and just wait for them to pass. That way he didn't have to give away his hiding spot.

He curled back up and let the sun caress his scales again.

It was surprising of one so young to want independence, he mused. At her age one still needed someone to watch over one. Didn't she see that she was too weak to fight her own battles, yet? Rebelling against your elders was supposed to come later, once you were strong enough to stand on your own.

Then again neither of the girls was strong enough to break away from their elders anyway. The thought of Tenkou defeating Tsuzuki was simply ridiculous. If she did rebel against him it'd be a very short fight. Knowing Tsuzuki a very mild one as well.

Then again, perhaps Tenkou had only meant to explain a shikigami's general right to challenge its master. It was the one real difference between being someone's shiki and being a slave, after all.

He shuddered at the memory of his former master and the things that shiki had done to him and his fellow slaves. Tsuzuki knew he couldn't treat his shiki like that, or they would rise up and leave him.

If Tsuzuki had ever whipped him ...

What then?

If Tsuzuki had whipped SohRyu, or Suzaku, or Rikugou, or yes, even Tenkou, he'd most likely be dead. SohRyu would bite the head off anyone who abused his little daughter faster than off someone who abused his own person and the others were all strong enough not to have to tolerate such treatment.

Touda himself, though? The control device wouldn't let him strike out against Tsuzuki, or even against any of his fellow shikigami, unless specifically ordered to do so. Moreover it forced him to execute Tsuzuki's every command. There wasn't even room for passive resistance. He was as dependent on Tsuzuki's every whim as he had been with his shiki master.

Tsuzuki wasn't like that shiki, though. He was a caring and gentle master and never treated Touda any differently than his other shiki.

He'd even let Touda choose whether to serve him or not.

And he had chosen Tsuzuki, because he had been kind and gentle and hadn't tried to force him into anything. The control device had not been Tsuzuki's idea, nor had the shinigami ever used it to force Touda into anything.

But still it made him dependent. More dependent than a small child like Tenkou. More dependent than he'd been back when he'd been a slave, because even then he could and finally did rise up against his master and run away.

Now he had no such options. He could only obey.






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